Beauty

I work a lot... too much ... it's funny how I gave up the idea of being a lawyer because I didn't want that "90 hour a week" lifestyle, yet it seems that I would be perfectly fine with that. I legitimately think I might have an addiction, work-a-holics anonymous here I come.

Anyway, I use that as a caveat into the point of this post. Beauty. More specifically the Lord's beauty. I was sitting at the pool this morning at work and while I watched the sun rise, as I have many days this summer, I realized that the simple scene of the rising sun is such a stunning portrait of the Lord's beauty. Each time I watch the sun rise I think about how each sunrise is like a personal painting the Lord created, what an amazing gift. To people who don't believe, I say watch the sun rise and you will see that there is no way we are here for no reason.

This morning's sunrise reminded me that I need to look for the Lord's beauty every day. That being said, each day (well that's my goal) I am going post how I saw the Lord's beauty. My blog is titled 'Keeping The Faith' and for me seeing the Lord's beauty each day is the way I keep mine.

Today I saw the Lord's beauty in a man. I have seen this man a few times now. This man comes early in the morning to swim with a friend of his. You may think "Okay Brynn, what does that have to do with the Lord's beauty?" Well, the thing is this man has never seen me, he is blind. He comes to the pool with his friend, holding his friend's elbow to lead him. He and his friend swim for maybe an hour. This man seems so cheerful and watching him swim laps so pleasantly shows me the Lord's beauty. I do not know if this man has been blind his whole life or if something happened to cause his loss of vision. I think about how I couldn't swim laps with my eyes shut or I'd be all over the place, yet he does it with proficiency. It made me think about what it must be like to not have ever seen the sunrise. This man seems so content and that was so humbling to me because I assuredly take my eyesight for granted. I encourage you to get up and watch the sunrise, realizing that the Lord has blessed you with not only the sunrise but the ability to see that sunrise.



Credit:Waterford, Ireland

Anxiety

Well it turns out that I am not the best (most consistent) blogger. Either I don't have much to say or I'm way to busy working all of the time, maybe it is both?? As much as I love earning money and feeling financially secure for when I go back to school next month, I am really worn out. I am actually looking forward to going back to school and getting into the "daily grind", it will feel like a vacation compared to the "summer" I've been having. I am really looking forward to classes and being back around friends.

The reason for this post. One of my good friends was in a head on collision today, going 50 mph, they had to use the "Jaws of Life" to get him out of the car, serious surgery on his legs to follow.All because the other driver didn't know how to drive on his side of the road. He is fine right now but this does nothing for my s.e.v.e.r.e. anxiety when I'm in a car. Like I am talking severe severe anxiety. I reach the verge of tears more and more often now when I ride passenger. I think one day I will give my self a heart attack because I get so worked up and nervous. I know here soon I won't be able to ride in the car with other people if I don't work on my anxiety. I feel bad that I can't just relax in the car, even if I'm driving I get anxiety.

I have nightmares about getting in horrible car wrecks, like movie status car wrecks. This probably doesn't help either. I just need to learn to take deep breaths and just trust that I have a long life ahead of me....

6 Years

It's been 6 years since you didn't wake up. It's been 6 years since I got that telephone call from across the Atlantic when I was in Wales. It's been 6 years since I had to tell my 10 year old brother on his birthday that you were gone. It's been since years since we laid you to rest.

Every year this week is the hardest. Every year I think of this day as the day you died and as the day I found out. Every year I think about the tomorrow as the day I left my People to People friends in London and flew home. Every year I think about the 4th, Dillon's 10th birthday and how Mom, Maygon and I had to tell him you wouldn't be at his birthday party and watched him say through tears "He died?". Every year I think about the 8th as the last day I ever saw you, the day I stood at your coffin for hours crying. Every year I think of the 9th as the day I told everyone at the funeral that you were in a better place. With the passing of every year I feel like I lose a little piece of you, I forget a memory and I lose the sound of your voice.

For the rest of my life every time something big happens, Driver's License, High School Graduation, College Graduation, Marriage, Children... a part of me aches because I know you won't be there. I wake up every day knowing that we don't get to have our daily phone call. I know for as long as I live a part of me will be missing because you are gone, a part of me I can never get back. A part of me was buried with you. I watch home videos and you're voice gives me chills, it brings tears to my eyes to hear you say "Brynnie".

I ask myself "Who is gonna give me away at my wedding? Who is going to give the poor sucker permission? What will I tell my kids about you? When will I get to talk to you again?" It almost feels like a dream, that maybe one day I'll wake up and you'll be here. I've had that dream many times, but I always wake up and I know that you are still in the same place you've been for six years, in the Sowder Cemetary.

My first memory is of you... walking to you holding my little hands in the air begging you to pick me up.

There are some things I will never forget:
I'll always be your "Brynnie" and no one elses.
You bought me more Pokemon cards than any kid ever needed.
You would drive 45 minutes to pick me up from school when I didn't feel good.
The way you smelled.
UVA will always be superior to Virginia Tech.
The NSYNC concert you taped for be because you knew they were my favorite.
The 98 Degrees concert you took me to, and even though I was mad you made us leave before the last song was over, it was okay because we met Jessica Simpson.
The time you let me drive the Pathfinder up the driveway while sitting on your lap.
Coming into your room at night to tell you goodnight and you'd be reading with just the lamp on your nightstand on.
The two rainbows we saw on my birthday that you stopped in the middle of the road so we could take a picture of them.
Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World was one of your favorite songs.
The last thing you read, by the light of your lamp on the nightstand, before you went to sleep that night was the Bible.

I could go on forever. You will always be the number one man in my life. No one could ever replace you. You are my Daddy forever and always.

Love,

Your Brynnie

Introducing...

Sasha Fierce. my "new" car.

** This isn't actually my car just a pic of the same thing from online.


After three weeks of driving a rental car I finally car a new car this past Wednesday. I had to go back to the county where I had my accident for court (I got "failure to maintain control" - that's an understatement) and thankfully the judge took pity on me and dropped the charge, saving me a couple hundred dollars in fees. After court Mom, Grandma and I went to this car dealership to find me a new car and Sasha Fierce was the fruit of our labors. She is a 2009 Nissan Sentra and because she has so many cool features and she's red, I felt the name was appropriate. My favorite thing about her is the key. My car key is an "Intelligent Key", so if I am within several feet of my car and have my keys in my purse/pocket/what have you I can push a button on my car door to unlock it, without ever even having to get my keys out and get this, I can start the ignition without getting the key out either - "What if the battery dies?" you ask.. well the key has a little button that you push and it pulls out the hard key. TOO COOL.

I have taken on this big financial responsibility and not gonna lie it feels pretty cool. My grandma was amazing and co-signed for me, making this all possible, I couldn't be more grateful to her.

As you can see it's been a while since I last posted. Evidence that I am officially a workaholic, I can't live without my planner because I would forget where I work when and I seriously just have a PROBLEM... Mom and I went down to Wilmington, North Carolina the weekend after my birthday to find all the filming locations from my favorite tv show, One Tree Hill. I am officially in love with Wilmington and would seriously consider moving down there upon graduation next year.

I'll try to be more frequent with the posting so I'm not all over the place!

fill in the blank friday...

so I got this from another blog ..

1. One fashion trend I really regret is ... butterfly clips.. The little plastic ones that you would wear like 10 of at the same time. I had like every color.

2. The one thing that always completes any outfit is .. my quatrefoil earrings courtesy of Phi Mu's Carnation Collection (the hot spot for all your Phi Mu needs).

3. I would describe my personal style as .. Preppy, I love a good v-neck tee tucked into a pencil skirt.. thank you employee discount at Banana Republic.

4. My fashion muse is ... I kinda just make it up as I go along, but I definitely LOVEEEE all of the clothes the girls on One Tree Hill wear.

5. If I could own one designer piece of clothing it would be.. coach flats

6. I would love to raid the wardrobe of ... Haley James Scott - Bethany G.'s character on One Tree Hill.

7. Today I am wearing .. my lifeguarding swimsuit, guard t-shirt and soffees.. I work too much..


As for my list of 21 things to do while 21..

#14 - buy a car.
#15 - give up something really difficult for lent.
#16 - find a church in newport news.
#17 - grow my hair back to it's natural shade of blonde.
#18 - get tan the natural way.
#19 - go on a crazy trip with my roomie Heather.

The Help

For Christmas my amazing roommate Molly, who also shares an appreciation for books, gave me The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I heard about the book because the author was a Phi Mu, so naturally I wanted to read it. I was so excited when Molly gave it to me and this week is the first chance I have had to read it since I got it in December.

If you enjoy reading at all I would highly recommend this book, even though it made me cry like five times - which made me mad, I could not put it down. Seriously, every free moment I have had since I started reading it was devoted to this book.

I am sure you are curious what the book is about. It is from the perspective of three women living in the early sixties in Jackson, Mississippi. Miss Skeeter is a young white woman who recently graduated from college and is faced with the challenge of being single and living at home with Mom and Dad, when all of her Junior League friends are married with children. Aibileen and Minny are two older black women who work for white families (Skeeter's friends). Not to give too much away, the book is about their lives and the lines drawn between black and white people at that time in Jackson. It is really charming, it's funny, and darn it if I don't wanna up and move to the south now (well more south than Virginia anyways).

So seriously, give the book a look you will not be disappointed!

On another note,

Still no news about my car, the insurance company is looking at it on monday to determine whether or not it is totalled. Let's pray that it isn't so then my insurance will pay to fix the damage, I will still have a car and won't have to stress about how to get a new one.

As for my list of 21 things to do while 21:

#7 - Serve on Summer Staff
#8 - Go to Wilmington, North Carolina!
#9 - Wear heels more often (I've accepted that I will not grow anymore)
#10 - Do something selfless (this sounds really simple, but how hard is it to do something completely selfless)
#11 - Finish my blue book devotionals
#12 - Take a picture with President Trible (CNU's famed President and former state senator of VA)
#13 - Meet someone famous

Honestly it is getting hard to come up with ideas for my list, anyone got any good ones?

How to Total Your Car 101

First step. See golden dog mozying down side of road and think to yourself "wow that dog is lucky if it doesn't get hit."
Second step. See golden dog's friend beagle run out in front of your car.
Third step. Swerve to miss beagle, realize beagle thinks his name is Bolt and is still running out in front of your car, swerve more into opposite lane to miss said beagle.
Fourth step. Try to gain control of car while still in opposite lane.
Fifth step. Lose control of car, go into grass on left shoulder.
Sixth step. Scream while car does a 180 degree turn.
Seventh step. Think "Mom is gonna kill me for running into a ditch".
Eighth step. Scream even more when car proceeds to flip 4 times.

And that is how to total a 3 year old car that had 11 miles on it when you bought it.

If you haven't already figured out I totalled my car today while swerving to avoid killing a beagle. The old man whose field my car decided to have a gymnastics exhibition in wheeled down the hill in his scooter and told the lady who stopped to help us "tell them next time, 'hit the damn dog' " Maybe I should've but I couldn't kill a living creature especially when my dog is himself a beagle. I honestly thought I'd be swerving just a little to miss him but it didn't really turn out that way. My back window and left passenger window were blown out, the Edible Arrangement my sister and I bought to give my Mom for Mother's Day was destroyed, my belongings were strewn about in the field, my cell phone ended up in the back seat, it was just a hot mess.

My older brother and I are very thankful to be alive but I am just so angry because having two jobs and all it will be a little tough to be without a car. My summer is probably ruined. I haven't been in pain or anything thanks to adrenaline but I know tomorrow I definitely be feeling it.

Thus number 6 on my list is:

Do something really nice for my mom.

My mom works really hard and this really is the last thing she needed to have to deal with. Is it awful that other than the initial "I'm alive" my first thought was "How in the world am I going to be able to afford a car?"


So ladies and gentlemen,

when in doubt, as Mr. C would say "Hit the damn dog"