Sunday, February 10, 2013

Pursued by Grace

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thank you Lord for pursuing me my entire life.
Thank you for pursuing me as a small child and teaching me to pray.
Thank you for pursuing me as a high school student and placing Young Life leaders in my life to love me and disciple to me.
Thank you for pursuing me when my heart was broken and I was mourning the loss of my Dad. Thank you for picking up the pieces. Thank you that you are close to the brokenhearted and save the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18).
Thank you for pursuing me when I was struggling between choosing popularity and drinking or my relationship with you.
Thank you for pursuing me each and every time you sent me to serve a month at a Young Life camp, serving you and growing more and more each day.
Thank you for pursuing me in the darkness and pushing me to be a Young Life leader.
Thank your Lord for pursuing my friends at PH each and every day of their lives, for the ones who know you or even if they aren't ready for you or think it's simply "too hard" or "inconvenient" to follow you. Thanks for letting me walk beside them.  

Thank you Lord for pursuing me and giving me the gift of grace, that when I am weak you are strong.


                                     

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Auld Lang Syne



Auld Lang Syne

I check the blogs I like to read pretty regularly, but the past few months I haven't posted on my own. I don't know if I was being lazy or just didn't feel like I had anything interesting enough to talk about. It is only a few days until 2012 and this year more than any other, I feel excited to start a new year. 2011 was a rough year for me and lots of huge transitions. I looked up the translation of "Auld Lang Syne", the New Years song of choice, and it means roughly "for (the sake of) old times." I kind of take this to mean remembering the past with fondness while looking forward to the future eagerly. In 2011 I started my last semester of college, I made new friends at CNU that are some of my best friends now, I got a new little (and grandlittle!) in my Phi Mu family, I went to Costa Rica for a fun/relaxing spring break, I graduated from CNU, moved back to Roanoke, served as a nanny at Sharp Top for a month, became a substitute teacher, started leading Young Life at my high school and got accepted into grad school.

Leaving CNU was the hardest thing I had to do all year. It is still hard being away from my friends there and missing being in that environment. I cherish my visits up there more than anything.

I look forward to 2012 to start anew and set some goals to strive toward. I wrote a letter of sorts kind of describing my hopes for next year. Here is my main goal:
"I will live for the Lord and do all things to glorify him. I will use self control and discipline to prevent myself from doing things that displease the Lord. I will stop doing things I know I shouldn’t just because I feel satisfaction. I will stop living in the past. I will live in the moment and know that my future is in the hands of the Lord and that he has a master plan for my life."

Some other goals I have set for myself:
* Read my 1 year Bible
* Become a member of my church (I'm starting the new member class mid January)
* Run DC Half Marathon (March) or Charlottesville Half Marathon (April)
* Run Va Beach Half Marathon (September) in memory of my friend Erik who passed away after running it in 2009.
* All A's in Grad classes

Have you set any goals for yourself? Happy New Year!

2011 in pictures

Bid Day 2011 when I ran back to Phi Mu after being disaffiliated as an RC since the previous October.

Family with our new additions!
Sigma Date Night with my fave Sigma
Costa Babes

Carnation Ball, Roomie and our dates


Jamie & Jaime Hyatt
PLP Graduation with President and Rosemary Trible
SPE Formal with two of my most favorite people
Phi Mu Seniors at our last Formal Business
CNU Graduation


My fellow Nanny, Sophi and I at Sharp Top
Little's 21st Birthday!



CNU Homecoming with our King <3

SPE Semi Formal with JoVo

Lighthouse Partner. WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU!?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Rainy Day

It is a rainy day today here in Roanoke, and I took the day off from subbing so I am sitting at home cozied up at the computer. I figured it's been a few weeks since I updated on here and I have some time on my hands this morning. Although I took the day off, I got up bright and early to go to Campaigners at 7. I am so proud of high schoolers who will get up so early to come have fellowship and get into the word. I know when I was in high school just getting up for school was a struggle, heck it still is. If you are wondering what Campaigners is I guess I should rewind a bit and catch up on what's been going on.

For the past month I have been going to Leadership meetings for Roanoke Valley's Young Life and bouncing around to different school's events to see where I would be best fit to lead Young Life. As of last Thursday, I am officially leading at my high school, Patrick Henry. I am so excited to be a part of the team at PH with Josh and Lindsay Goodman. They are such sweet friends and stunning examples, not only for kids but for me as well. It is so neat to go to club on Monday nights and see how PH Young Life has changed and grown since I graduated. Let me tell y'all the Lord is doing awesome things at PH and in the Roanoke Valley. There are so many kids who are just in love with the Lord and want their classmates to know Christ. I am so humbled by a lot of these kids and their hearts for the Lord, they are pursuing a relationship with Christ, which in high school might not always look like the coolest thing to do, but they don't let the desire to be cool overrun their love for Christ. I would just ask for y'all to be praying for me as I get to know girls and form friendships with them that I would be able to love on them and encourage them in their walks. I would ask that you pray for kids, every time they step into PH, they are stepping into a battlefield and there are so many broken souls in that school that just need the Lord in their lives.

Campaigners for those of you who are wondering is a time for our Young Life kids to come and share fellowship and study the Bible together. It is really awesome to see kids getting so much out of the word and talking about how they can relate it to their own lives. We are currently going through John 15, which if you haven't read is some pretty great stuff!


In other news, I have been subbing just a few days a week and it has been a great learning experience thus far. I have learned that Elementary school is definitely my calling. I have learned that high school is hard, at least for subs. It has been difficult finding a middle ground between being an authority figure and being a teacher teenagers enjoy. It is so easy/tempting for high schoolers to try and take advantage of the fact that I am a sub, even though I went to the school and know how things really work. I have also been working my other two part time jobs so I stay awfully busy. I am however hoping to start Grad school in the spring here in Roanoke. I will hopefully be pursuing my Masters in Teaching and getting my VA Teaching License.

That's pretty much it for now, but I will try to keep up more consistently on here.

Monday, September 26, 2011

In Case You Were Wondering

It has been a few months since I have posted on here, mainly because there hasn't been anything too exciting to talk about. The rest of my Summer was filled with 60+ hour work weeks and a couple visits up to CNU to visit some of my best friends that are still there. It is officially Autumn (I don't know when we started saying Fall instead of Autumn, but I like Autumn better) and I started my job as a Substitute Teacher last week.

For anyone that does not know, I moved back home after graduation and my plan at the moment is to stay here in Roanoke so I can work and save money. I am looking into a few Masters in Teaching programs available in Roanoke, hopefully to start in the Spring semester. I quickly realized after graduation that my desire to "take a year off from school" was just silly. I am ready to get back into school so I can get my teaching license and have a real job. I am working right now as a sub and at my other two part time jobs. This definitely creates a hectic schedule for me, and a tiring one at that. I am trying my best to save money, though not for anything in particular. The Lord has been working on my heart a lot since I have been home and this season of my life has definitely been one of reflection and just diving deeper into the word. I participated in Young Life all through high school and stayed connected with it throughout college. It is a ministry I really love and feel called toward. Now that I am back in Roanoke, I have decided to pursue serving as a volunteer leader for Young Life. It has been incredible thus far to share fellowship with the other leaders and see the awesome things God is during in Roanoke Young Life. I am really looking forward to seeing how the Lord is going to use me within the ministry. Now, for what everyone is probably really curious about... my first week as a Substitute Teacher.



Day 1. High School. 9th Grade Earth Science. This school is a difficult school in general. It is really unfortunate to say but a lot of the kids there have no desire to be there and the dropout rate is really bad. I went there that day optimistic, yet unsure of what to expect. The first period of the day was okay, for the first part of the period there was another teacher in there to help me. I guess I don't remember having classes like this in high school, but these kids would just not stop talking. No matter how many times I asked them to stop chatting with one another so they could pay attention to the lecture, they just wouldn't. Every period (I had 4, one of them was a history class) that day was like this. I most definitely did not have their respect and they really could have cared less that I was in "authority". The last period of the day, the absolute WORST. I am not exaggerating, but I could not get through 30 seconds of material without having to stop and ask them to be quiet because I could not even hear myself talking. The "funniest" (at least according to my sister, who has told everyone we know the story) episode of the day was an encounter I had last period with a student. This girl got up in the middle of lecture, walked over to her friend’s desk across the room and proceeded to lean on her friend’s desk and have a conversation. I asked her to take her seat and she didn't even acknowledge me. I walked over and again asked her to sit down. She turned her head to me, scowled at me and said "I am TALKING to my friend" and turned back to her friend. I told her she could save it for after class and to take her seat. She stood upright said "OH MY GOSH get out of my face... if we was on the streets I would have hit you." I am not kidding. She said that to me. My response: "Awesome, take your seat." She told me I was rude and that she was going to tell the principal on me. This honestly makes me laugh now but how sad is that? How do teachers connect with these kids to encourage them to learn? Do they even want to learn? Certainly there were a few paying attention to me and engaging, but really I am astonished at how disrespectful the majority of them were.

Day 2. Middle School. 8th Grade Physical Science. This day was much better than Day 1, probably because middle schoolers still have enough "fear" of teachers so they get quiet when asked. They were definitely chatty kids but most of them really did pay attention and engaged with me. In my Substitute Handbook it tells us not to lend students ballpoint pens because they can "use them to shoot spit balls." I thought this was a joke. Well my friends, this is no joke and my backside can confirm this. Yes, a student "shot" me in the butt with a little paper spit ball. I do not even know how kids learn to disassemble their pens to use them for this, but REALLY? You are going to shoot the sub in the butt? Ohmylanta.

Day 3. Elementary School. 4th Grade English. HEAVEN. I am so in love with elementary school. Not to mention I love this particular school because I did my senior year internship there in high school. I really enjoyed these kids and actually knew a couple of my students from my job at the gym. The kids were helpful and respectful. There were definitely some moments I had to bring them back to focus, but they actually listened (imagine that, 9 year olds more respectful than 15 year olds). If I could sub at that school every day, any grade, I would be supremely happy.

I know this was super long, but I wanted to share with you just a little about my first week as a sub. Many funny stories to come I am sure!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Early Bird

My last few weeks at SharpTop were great. I cannot describe the joy that I get from living in community and from playing with a bunch of little ones every day. I sincerely miss waking up and walking downstairs in Eagle Branch into the living room greeted by precious children eating cereal or playing with blocks. I miss a lot about being there... I am only slightly embarrassed to say I cried when I said bye to everyone. This was primarily because all of the parents kept thanking me for being there, even though I wasn't their nanny, they told me they really appreciated me loving on their kids anyways. I don't know how to take compliments, maybe I don't feel like I deserve them or maybe I am just flattered... but I cry every time.
Side note: On the last night there we saw a momma Black Bear and her four adorable cubs right in our backyard! I didn't even consider the imminent danger, all I wanted to do was go play with the cubs.


Photo Credit

Oh if you’re a bird, be an early bird
And catch the worm for your breakfast plate.
If you’re a bird, be an early early bird
But if you’re a worm, sleep late.
Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

Upon returning home from SharpTop I knew I had a few tough weeks ahead of me. The main reason being because I would have to wake up each week day at four am to be at work at four thirty. (Yes there are people waiting in the parking lot when I pull in each morning to work out. And yes there are people that get in and swim at 5:01) All this after spending 4 weeks of being spoiled and "sleeping in" until at least nine almost every day. I just finished week two of this and I survived. I did feel kind of lame being in bed by 9 each night. I have actually come to enjoy my time in the morning to sit in silence and watch the lap swimmers or read when the pool is empty. I love the air in the early morning, even though I am not a morning person, I wish I was soo bad.

After this week I will go back to a "normal" schedule of shifts after eight am. I have been a little indifferent about school starting back and actually starting to sub. I met with my boss the other day to give her some paper work. All I have left to do is choose the schools I want to sub at and I am all set. This made me actually pretty excited to start. I will also be glad to (hopefully) have a set schedule Monday-Friday. I am also pretty excited for a change of scenery. I have been working at my two jobs now since my Junior year in high school and the summer after Freshman year at CNU. Needless to say it is time to start something new and a little more grown up. I am excited to learn more about teaching and especially to get more exposure because all of my experience in schools has been kindergarten and a semester in fifth grade. I undoubtedly will also have some memorable experiences as a substitute teacher to share, so get excited!

Monday, July 4, 2011

It's a small world after all

Young Life really is the smallest world. I have so many mutual friends with people I have met here at Sharp Top. Also, I have known at least one person who was leading campers each week I have been here. Week 1, a guy I've known since 6th grade was leading kids from Charlottesville, that was a really awesome coincidence. Week 2, the Area Director from Fredericksburg, Va and his wife were here. I've known Cliff since high school, he did his intern years of YL staff in Roanoke. He got married a few years back and I met his wife back in 2009 when I was on Summer Staff at Windy Gap, she is such a sweetheart. Halfway through the week I realized another friend of mine I worked with at home was leading some guys from Fredericksburg as well. This week I am really happy to see some old Summer Staff friends of mine. My friends Will, Ben, Mary Cameron and Matt are here leading kids, I did Summer Staff in 2008 with them here at Sharp Top. It is so crazy to see what 3 years has done in their lives. Will and Mary Cameron started dating, Ben got engaged and Matt got married! Even cooler, Will, Ben and Matt are on Young Life staff now. My friend Doogie that I did Summer Staff with in 2009 at Windy Gap is here as well leading some kids. I just think it is really cool that I am at Sharp Top Cove, in Jasper, Georgia - the middle of nowhere and I have known someone each week I have been here. I really hope I know someone next week just to keep my streak going.

Happy Fourth of July/Happy Birthday to my baby brother who is 17!

Tonight the kids' Mom leaves to go home for work so I am back to full Nanny mode after she leaves until she comes back on Friday. I really feel like this week has been good just kind of observing how Sarah is with the kids as far as where they can go alone and all that stuff. I think week 1 I was just over-strict because I didn't know what was okay and what wasn't. Now that I do I think it will be a lot easier to watch after the kids. I really can't believe that there are only two weeks left, the first two really flew by.

God has been doing great things here and has been using everyone here to speak a lot of truth into my life. My favorite part of the day is at night. There are a million stars out and just a sound track of crickets and frogs and all of the awesome sounds of nature. That is definitely how I see God's beauty each day.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Relaxation

This past Friday the Mom of the kids I am nannying came to camp for ten days because she is off work. This means that I am off nannying duty and am pretty much free to do whatever I want. I have enjoyed spending time in fellowship with some of the wives on the Assigned Team and just building community with them. This is something I need. I need human interaction. I think that is part of why I was (am) so sad to be done with school. What a perfect world would it be to walk out of your apartment and have all of your friends there all of the time. Unfortunately, back in Roanoke, that is not the case. I am really looking forward to going home and re-establishing a community there. Hopefully, I will begin volunteer leading Young Life in Roanoke and I will be getting more involved in my church so both of those will offer great community and fellowship. It has been a blessing learning from these women of all ages older than me.

It has been funny because even though I am off, I find myself still playing with all of the little ones just as much, if not more, than when I am on duty. All I know is that God has put a deep love for children in my heart. I think there is so much to be learned from children and they really are just fascinating little people. There is a reason the Lord favors children. They are so precious and innocent. They know what they want and they have no hesitation to ask for it. It always amazes me when they go up to someone and just say "can I have that?" I couldn't imagine doing that but really adults are like that. We want things, we find ways to get what we want but we just aren't as honest and upfront about it. Kids laugh at everything, they get joy from the simplest things. At what point in our lives do we stop laughing at the little things like chasing fireflies or someone blowing raspberries on their stomachs. I wish I could just say what I'm feeling, not care about embarrassing myself, laugh at silly things and have childlike faith. In worship on Sunday, Eric was giving the talk and told this story about his little boy (one of the boys I babysit, who is always laughing, smiling and running around). They were at a church event and afterward Eric was watching Nathan play from across the room. He was laughing and running around and he looks up and spots his Dad. He drops his toys and runs to his Dad and runs into his arms. Eric was choking up telling us this story and saying how he wished he had the childlike faith to run to God like that.

Today was a fun day. I woke up early and did a workout with some of the wives on Assigned Team. I realized quickly that I am sorely out of shape and need to get my act together. After a nap and shower I drove down to Kennesaw, Ga, about an hour away and visited with my friend Katie. Katie and I did Summer Staff together in 2009 and she was one of my closest friends there. She and I have kept in touch over the past two years and I was so excited to be close enough to go visit her. I love having friends that you can go two years without seeing and pick right back up where you started.

I still have two and a half weeks here and I am so excited for what the Lord is going to reveal to me in my remaining time here.