How to Total Your Car 101

First step. See golden dog mozying down side of road and think to yourself "wow that dog is lucky if it doesn't get hit."
Second step. See golden dog's friend beagle run out in front of your car.
Third step. Swerve to miss beagle, realize beagle thinks his name is Bolt and is still running out in front of your car, swerve more into opposite lane to miss said beagle.
Fourth step. Try to gain control of car while still in opposite lane.
Fifth step. Lose control of car, go into grass on left shoulder.
Sixth step. Scream while car does a 180 degree turn.
Seventh step. Think "Mom is gonna kill me for running into a ditch".
Eighth step. Scream even more when car proceeds to flip 4 times.

And that is how to total a 3 year old car that had 11 miles on it when you bought it.

If you haven't already figured out I totalled my car today while swerving to avoid killing a beagle. The old man whose field my car decided to have a gymnastics exhibition in wheeled down the hill in his scooter and told the lady who stopped to help us "tell them next time, 'hit the damn dog' " Maybe I should've but I couldn't kill a living creature especially when my dog is himself a beagle. I honestly thought I'd be swerving just a little to miss him but it didn't really turn out that way. My back window and left passenger window were blown out, the Edible Arrangement my sister and I bought to give my Mom for Mother's Day was destroyed, my belongings were strewn about in the field, my cell phone ended up in the back seat, it was just a hot mess.

My older brother and I are very thankful to be alive but I am just so angry because having two jobs and all it will be a little tough to be without a car. My summer is probably ruined. I haven't been in pain or anything thanks to adrenaline but I know tomorrow I definitely be feeling it.

Thus number 6 on my list is:

Do something really nice for my mom.

My mom works really hard and this really is the last thing she needed to have to deal with. Is it awful that other than the initial "I'm alive" my first thought was "How in the world am I going to be able to afford a car?"


So ladies and gentlemen,

when in doubt, as Mr. C would say "Hit the damn dog"