Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

This semester the Lord has really taken my heart. Not that he didn't have it in the first place, but he is really pursuing me right now. I have been trying to read scripture every night before I go to bed and I just love it. I feel like whatever is heavy on my heart he knows and answers me through his word. I am really enjoying being in the word and God is obviously showing me the lessons I need to be learning.

I have a really big problem with anxiety, not a legitimate medical issue, but I worry about any and absolutely everything. To this the Lord responds "Do not be anxious, but everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6. I worry about my future, I worry about where my life is going, I worry that I am not living the way the Lord wants me to, I worry I am not living "according to his purpose" Romans 8:28. I also worry about the person I used to be, I used to be a brat, I used to be terrible to my Mom and my brothers. My Mom is my best friend now, I can't say that I have wonderful relationships with my brothers now but we have come a far way. I pray constantly for them that they will know the Lord the way I do, and they will find happiness in Christ.

I am very excited with anticipation for Graduation in May. I will be done with college, life as a "kid" will be over as I know it. I plan on taking a year or two off of school in order to live at home, work and save money. I am very excited about this, but nervous still. Although I have lived in Roanoke for nearly 14 years, it is still going to feel like starting over. I considered applying for several real big girl jobs, but right now the Lord is telling me to rest. I have been going going going since High School and honestly, I'm tired, right now the Lord is just telling me: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.

I love while I have no prescribed way for they way I read the Bible, the Lord still finds a way to connect with me and what is heavy on my heart. I think maybe that is why I have been enjoying my nightly quiet time so much.

It almost seems as though this calm is washing over me. Today a friend of mine, who is graduating in December, were talking and he asked me if I was stressed out about school because his load is very heavy right now. I told him with all honesty, "No", I am honestly not. I have my Senior Sem paper, a rather large paper for my Leadership class and 5 finals to study for, yet I am not stressed out about it. This does not mean I am not studying or procrastinating or anything, it simply means that I am completely at ease and in no way overwhelmed by what lies ahead. I am ready for this semester to be over for sure, but that is mainly because I am so excited for next semester.

This will be my class schedule this Spring:
Tuesday/Thursday
930-1045 Jazz Dance
11-1215 Forensic Psychology
1-215 Children's Picture Books
4-515 Adolescent Literature
530-645 Leadership Internship Seminar

I am taking classes that I am so excited about and I have a classes 2 days a week, 5 days off a week? Needless to say my last semester at CNU will be the best academically.

The verse sticking in my head right now is "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14